Archive for the ‘Life Coaching’ Category

Overcoming the Dynamic Duo of Procrastination and Perfectionism

Friday, July 3rd, 2015

This newsletter will discuss 3 ways to overcome the ‘dynamic duo’ of procrastination and perfectionism that had been covered in the previous article.  If you did not get a chance to read it or would like to read it again, please click here:

1)  Give yourself credit in all you have accomplished.   If you don’t give yourself some kudos who else will?  Sure it’s nice to get the approval of others at times, but what we truly want is self-approval.  Here is an example to help you get started.  Let’s say you created a beautiful garden.  Now think about the time you invested in it to make it just right.  Did it feel good to create something?  Did it positively impact the rest of your day?  What about that feeling of satisfaction you receive every time you looked at it?

Give yourself the thumbs up for a job well done!

Giving yourself the thumbs up for a job well done!

In order to reclaim these uplifting emotions and thoughts you may have experienced easily in the  beginning, simply spend some time pondering the aforementioned queries and suggestions.  When you spend time appreciating what you already have, there is little room for dissatisfaction.



The Dynamic Duo – Procrastination and Perfectionism

Friday, April 10th, 2015

Most would agree that we live in a high pressure society.  Many factors contribute to this phenomenon.   We’ll be exploring two factors that often work in tandem.  I like to refer to them as the ‘dynamic duo’ –  procrastination and perfectionism.  At first glance, it may seem that they have nothing in common.  This is understandable, as procrastination has to do with inaction or putting something off; while perfectionism has to do with taking action toward a goal that is ultimately unrealistic.

There is another way to look at these two factors.  Sometimes the reason a person is putting something off is because they have a fear of not doing a good enough job.  In their mind, they must do a ‘perfect’ job and try to use everything at their disposal to reach that ever elusive outcome.   It could be said that the person began  as a perfectionist, only to become  disillusioned and turn to procrastination.  This is how the dynamic is formed.  It may be helpful to view procrastination and perfectionism as two sides of the same coin or think of a procrastinator as a closet perfectionist!


If you were given the whole world, do you think you would be satisfied?


5 Additional Tips On How To Reach Your Goals

Tuesday, May 13th, 2014

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAIn the last article/newsletter, I discussed 5 helpful ideas on goal achievement.  Click here to read or review the material

This newsletter covers 5 more useful and practical strategies that I hope will help you on your path to getting what you  want.

6)  Commit to seeing the process through especially when things seem difficult.  Learning a new way of doing things takes time.  There are stages that one goes through.  Often things go well in the beginning and then you hit a rough patch and may view this as failure and want to quit.  But, the fact of the matter is that this is a normal and necessary part of the process of achieving a goal or learning a new skill.   It is vital to learn the tools necessary to negotiate and overcome  such challenges.  Not only will your self-confidence increase, you will most likely be motivated to keep moving forward.

5 Tips For Achieving Your Goals and March Promotion

Sunday, March 9th, 2014

Newsletter March 2014  March Promotion

To help you achieve your goals this year, we are holding a promotion until Monday, March 31, 2014.  If you sign up for any one of our package deals by the deadline, you will receive 25% off!  This includes all service categories – Inspirational, Prosperity, Transformational packages. Please click here for more information

Also receive a free “Start Your Success” Survey by clicking  Simply fill in the latest enewsletter box and you will receive the survey.  The survey will help you evaluate your strengths and weaknesses and give valuable insight into your life.  The updated enewsletter box helps to streamline the enewsletter send outs. Don’t delay and sign up today!


January 2012 Newsletter “Lessons From India, A Puppy And A Calf!”

Saturday, January 21st, 2012

Well, here we are in 2012!  My wish for you is peace, joy and abundance in all areas of your life.  I am delighted to be able to share my first newsletter of the year with you.  You will be reading about some amazing experiences I had during my time in India.  For those who aren’t aware, I recently returned from a two month stint in this country.

I refer to the time I spent in India as a spiritual trek.  It had been a life-long dream of mine to see the Himalayas and immerse myself in Buddhism and other spiritual pursuits.  Many experiences stand out for me and the trip was life-changing.  I hope by sharing my thoughts and stories, that you will be inspired to look at your own life in a new way.

The foothills of the Himalayas in northern India

The foothills of the Himalayas in northern India

So, what made me after so many years, finally decide to go to India for a spiritual purpose?  I was someone who was waiting for the ‘perfect’ time to go.   I came to realize that there is no such thing as the ‘perfect’ time.  I mean, what if I lose my job or become ill?  You never know what could happen tomorrow.  Life is short and you don’t want to live with regrets.  So, I set the intention of traveling to India no matter what and then I let go of the outcome.

One message I have for you is this:  don’t put off doing what matters to you. It maybe a cliche, but it is still true.  It is not how many things you do, but the quality of the experiences.  As a child, my family used to rush from place to place trying to squeeze in as much as possible during vacations.  It was so stressful!  All I could think  was, I better be in the car on time or I’ll be in trouble.  Needless to say, I never truly enjoyed these trips.

We live in a world that is obsessed with a ‘go, go, go’ mentality.  But, it does not need to be like this.  How does one stop this pattern?   One suggestion is to become consciously aware of your breath. What I had learned from my meditation practice at home and was re-affirmed in India, was that doing so helps you to slow down and enjoy life more.   Let me explain what occurs when you focus on your breathe.

a) you give yourself a focal point, thus side-stepping the countless unproductive thoughts one has at any given moment that inevitably drain you of energy  b) it enables you to connect with your body.  For example, you may become aware of your chest rising and falling, the air moving in and out of your nose and other bodily sensations  c) this, then, has a calming effect on you and enables you to slow down.  You will most likely feel yourself relax  d) it enables you to become more objective (less reactive) in your thinking and behaviors.  You will not get rid of your thoughts completely.  That is not the goal.  Rather, it’s about taking a ‘breather’ and channeling your energies in positive ways.  From this place, you can do just about anything, like make a conscious choice of how to spend your vacation and ultimately how to live your life.

This was my second trip to India, but it was a completely different experience than the first one.  During my initial trip, I had played the part of the tourist and stayed in nice hotels.  I was essentially sheltered from the harsh reality of life there.  This time I experienced the country at a much more intimate level.  I became a part of the community.  I walked the same streets every day.  I saw the same merchants everyday.  I passed the same people begging for money.  Many of these people came to recognize me as well.  I interacted with people I normally would not have had the privilege of doing so before.

For example, there was the 17 year old boy who worked daily in his make-shift souvenir stall (most of the stalls are make-shift).  He was quite the salesman – very persistent .  In the beginning, I felt sorry for him. Then, I came to realize after reading some of the the Dalai Lama’s writings, that doing so is being disrespectful to him.  This boy was not a victim.  His survival skills probably matched that of a tiger in the jungle.  He displayed so much strength – standing on his feet day in and day out with barely a break, probably earning just enough money to eek out an existence.

Then, there was the restaurant owner and her husband  who became like a second family to me;  the older woman who sat in her stall and smiled at me everyday;  the elderly lady with missing limbs and other deformities, who sat in the same spot begging for money.  We would say ‘namaste’  (a way of greeting others) often to one another;  the ayurvedic doctor (ayurveda is an ancient Indian system of natural healing) who worked next door to where I was living – we became good friends;  or the internet/outdoors adventure guy who asked me to watch his store while he went to the bathroom.  This is a small sample of the people who become a part of my life for a short while.

The greatest challenge I faced during my time in India, was coping with all the suffering I witnessed.  I knew it was going to be hard for me to not ‘take it all on’ and wind up feeling terrible much of the time.  This leads me to a story I feel compelled to share with all of you.  It concerns a cow (yes, you heard right!).  But, the story actually begins with a puppy.  Let me explain.  I made an American friend, a young woman, named Amanda.  Now, there are so many suffering animals in India – dogs and cows in particular.  They are left to fend for themselves.  It is truly heart-breaking.

One day Amanda came across a very sick, abandoned, female puppy.  It had a large festering hole on its back, which was full of maggots and who knows what else.  It was in dire straights.  Without hardly a thought, Amanda wrapped the dog in her beautiful shawl and carried it on foot until she found a vet.  This took several hours and much perseverance as there were few vets in the region.  (We were in the city of Rishikesh in northeastern, India)

Occasionally, a maggot would crawl onto her neck and Amanda would calmly ask her friend if he could remove it .  This continued for the entire walk.  Amanda eventually found a vet who treated the puppy and it had to have around the clock care.  Amanda and her friend snuck him into their guesthouse and took shifts attending to the pup.  This regiment went on for a few weeks.  The puppy recuperated, was reunited with its mother, and both were placed together in a good home.

What impacted me was how Amanda, without hesitation, helped the dog.  Now, I think of myself as a fairly compassionate person.  What I witnessed that day from my friend, left me humbled.  To pick up a stray, sick dog in India, where you are warned not to touch the animals, then walk for hours in the hot sun…well I knew I had witnessed a rare kind of compassion.  For me, it was an act of unconditional love.

Amanda and the puppy who she named Chai Chai

Amanda and the puppy who she named Chai Chai

That was one of the experiences that changed me.  My friend could have ignored the puppy.  She could merely have felt sad, bad or guilty about it the situation.  But no, she took immediate and decisive action and due to that there was a happy ending to this story.   This rarely occurs in these types of situations in India.  Amanda inspired me to be more than I currently was.  She gave me a precious gift that I will be forever grateful for.

To quote Amanda It was a very special process for me to find her all alone and be able to give up any thought or plans I may have had and just give myself to her help her heal”

Now, comes the part about the cow!  This was another profound experience for me.  One evening I was walking home and happened to notice a black, injured calf.  It seemed to have no mother around and had difficulty walking.  Upon a closer look, I saw that it had a large wound on its front leg.  As it was getting dark,  I needed to get home and knew there was nothing I could do at that moment.  I told myself the calf would surely be better in the morning.

The next morning, I went to find the calf.  It was in the same spot as the day before.  In fact, it had fallen down exactly where it had stood only 12 hours earlier.  It had been unable to move at all.  When I approached it, I saw it was shaking and had sores all over its body.  It definitely was not better.

Amanda’s actions motivated me to get involved.  This is what is referred to as a ‘ ripple effect’ - meaning that I became inspired to help just as she had done earlier.  I took immediate and decisive action.  I called a woman, who as luck would have it, I had met recently.  Her name is Grace.  Grace took compassion to a whole new level.  She chose to live in India, dedicating her life to helping as many animals as possible.  This was her self-appointed, full time (and unpaid)  job.

Grace and I met and she examined the calf, which turned out to be a boy.  Grace said it was in very bad shape and probably too late to save.  Regardless, she tried numerous times to contact a vet, but had no luck.  I decided the best thing we could then do, was to ease its suffering.  We built a make-shift shelter (very make-shift) to protect the calf from the sun, gave it food and water, and took turns checking on him.  The following day, a miracle occurred.  The calf was not only alive, but appeared to be doing better!  Grace and I continued our vigil and soon even some of the neighbors began to help out!  For me, this was another miracle.  The locals are accustomed to seeing suffering animals and ignore them.  They have their own lives to worry about.  So, the ‘ripple effect’ continued and it warmed my heart, giving me a renewed faith in humanity.

Grace shared a personal story about a shop-keeper which further highlights the ‘ripple effect’.  The shop keeper said to her one day  “I wanted to tell you, I wanted to tell you, I understand now what you are doing! The man was glowing … I said OH?  Yes, everyday we have watched you for a long time, and we did not understand. I want to tell you every night now, when I close my shop, four dogs come, and I feed them! They hear me close my shop and they come running and I go next door and I buy them biscuits. I understand now, when I make them happy, I make God happy, and when God is happy, I am happy.

The calf on the mend.  I named him Mala.

The calf on the mend. I named him Mala.

The story of the calf ends like this:  The next day unbeknownst to us, a vet had somehow heard about the cow and had come to see it.  Yes, another miracle!  He administered shots and treated the leg wound.  He would of had to have done so out of his own pocket.  Each day the calf grew stronger and the number of care providers increased.  He gained many fans and became somewhat of a local celebrity.  I was recently informed by Grace that the calf is now walking and has a good home lined-up.  Another happy ending.

My hope in sharing these stories with you, stories that are personal and so dear to my heart, is that you 1) refuse to put off your dreams  2) practice becoming aware of your breathe and slowing down  3)  are inspired to take action to make the world a more loving place, no matter how insignificant the action may appear   4) understand that you have a choice of either becoming overwhelmed or jaded by the misery in our world or think ‘I can help in this way’You can not save the world.  But, you can help the being that crosses your path.  Do something, do anything.  Even if it doesn’t work out the way you wanted, at least you tried and that counts for something.  Remember, you never know where the ripple effect’will lead.

~~ Without that first drop of water, there could be no ocean~~

Here are some questions for you to ponder:  What part of the article had the most impact on you?  Would you describe it as positive, negative, or use another descriptor?  What would you have done in Amanda’s shoes?  If the calf had died, would this have changed your mind about getting involved in such situations in the future?  Can you see yourself dedicating your life to a cause greater than yourself as Grace had done?  Do have any personal experiences you would like to share with the readership?

In the next article, I will write about other life-changing and hopefully inspiring stories for you.  Until then take good self-care and care of each other.



April 2011 Spirit Soars Newsletter: Spring Cleaning and Survey!

Wednesday, March 30th, 2011


Hello Everyone!  Spring is here and so are the updates for Spirit Soars.  hope you enjoy the article ‘The Good Opinion of Others’.


New ~GuideTo Living A Balanced Life~ Workshop. Feeling stressed, tired, or unmotivated? Increase your over all well-being and satisfaction by discovering how to maintain balance in every area of your life, such as between work and home. You will create your own personal blue print for balance called the Wheel of Life. You will learn how to remain calm and grounded no matter what life throws at you.

When: Tuesday, May 3rd from 7pm to 9:30pm

Where: Bowen ComplexRegistration: call Park and Rec at (250) 756-5200 or

Cost: $25

Slightly stressed of off balanced?

Slightly stressed or off balanced?


Learn How To Obtain Balance Through The                                 Wheel Of Life: 

Learn How To Obtain Balance Through The Wheel of Life




Yes, that’s right! Spirit Soars now offers new service packages and lower costs:

Deluxe Client Package - 1month of sessions
– 3 sessions 45 to 50 minutes long except, for Discovery Session which is 1.5 to 2hours long
– 2 Wheels of Life
– practical homework assignments
– 5 minute support call during the off-weeks
– informative and inspirational hand-outs including e-Newsletter
– service evaluation questionnaire
– check-in call from the coach one month after sessions are completed
– discounts on workshops
– total cost $250
Supreme Client Package - 2 months of sessions
– 5 sessions 45 to 50 min long, except for the Discovery Session which is 1.5 to 2hours long
– 2 Wheels of Life
– practical homework assignments
– 5 minute support call during the off-weeks
– informative and inspirational hand-outs including e-Newsletter
– service evaluation questionnaire
– check-in call from the coach one month after sessions are completed
– discounts on workshops
– total cost $500
Ultimate Client Package - 3 months of sessions
– 7 sessions 45 to 50 min long, except for the Discovery Session which is 1.5 to 2hours long
– 2 Wheels of Life
– practical homework assignments
– 5 minute support call during the off-weeks
– informative and inspirational hand-outs including e-Newletter
– service evaluation questionnaire
– check-in call from the coach one month after the sessions are completed
– discounts on workshops
– total cost: $650

~~ Single sessions available now! Cost is $75 per 1 hour session.

Please contact Anita at (250) 729-0962 or or click here for the contact page.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Well, spring is here. What better time to clean your ‘inner’ clutter. What do I mean by inner clutter? Well, just as many of you will be cleaning out the garage and getting rid of the things you don’t need, thus making your surrroundings more liveable and inviting; the same holds true for what’s going on in your mind. What thoughts are no longer serving you and taking up valuable space?

I have constructed a survey to help you evaluate how your life is going and serve as step one in cleaning your internal ‘house’.

Article:  ‘The Good Opinion of Others’ 

One common piece of ‘inner’ clutter for many people is spending too much time thinking about what others think of them.  I believe everyone has engaged in this behaviour, that no one is immune.  But, it is the amount of time one spends doing this, that is key.  For many people, they spend a considerable amount of time worrying in this manner.  They pay a high price for doing so and becoming aware of this behaviour is the first step to freeing themselves.

We live in a society which values the superficial.  Be it money, one’s appearance, material possession, even information.  Living in a capitalist society as we do, we are used to competing against one other for jobs, education, and social status.  This creates an artificial ‘need’ is us to watch what others are doing, consciously or unconsciously. This externally-driven world often makes people think they are not measuring up.  Hence, we may become obsessed about how others view us.  Does so-and-so like me?  Did I offend someone?  I hope what I said at work wasn’t misconstrued. What if they think I am rude or unattractive?  Are they upset with me? Does so-and-so think I’m good enough?

You have probably heard a thousand times, that you can’t please everyone.  It might even sound like a cliche.  But, this makes it no less true. If you actually went around asking everyone in every situation, what they truly thought about you, it would become a full-time job, with no breaks, and no vacations.  That’s all you would be doing and it would be exhausting.  If you asked 10 different people what they thought of your comment, for example, you very likely would get 10 different responses.  People’s opinions are constantly changing based what’s going on for them on any particular day.  Opinions are fickle.  So, my question to you is, where is the truth in all of this?

The answer is that there is no single, objective truth.  Opinions are not facts.  Opinions, by definition, are relative to the person who holds them.  They are based on the particular lens that person is looking through.  This lens, in turn, is based on many factors like their culture, religion, where they live in the world, their childhood experiences, age, etc.  The lens we all look through has its own unique stamp of how we see things.  It has more to do with us, than with anyone else.

My point is that, given the relativity of opinions, why should anyone spend one second more worrying about what someone else thinks about them?  It is much more important to know what you think about yourself.  This is internal, something you have control over.  What matters most are your answers to questions such as: do you think you are a kind, decent person?  Is it ok for you to make mistakes?  Do you know that  your intentions are good?  Can you still be compassionate to yourself even if you are not at your ‘best’?   You honour yourself by believing that you are good, no matter what anyone else thinks.  The only person’s opinion that truly matters at the end of the day, is yours. This is where self-esteem comes from.  Imagine going a whole day or week without anyone else’s comments bothering you.  What would that be like for you?  Take a few moments to ponder this.

Would you feel lighter? Happier? Healthier? More at peace with everything? Would you feel more confident?  Would you have more energy?  Would you be stronger, more resilient?  More decisive? Feel more in control of your life?

Most of you probably answered ‘yes’ to some if not all of these questions.  So, why not give it a try.  If your response pattern is to feel bad, angry, shameful, etc. about yourself, then try out these 3 ideas.  Take a few deep breathes, go for a walk, or do something to distract yourself.  This helps to break the automatic pattern you’ve probably had for years.  It gives you time to calm down, gain perspective, and allows space for a new thought.  With practice, you can become detached to the ‘good opinion of others’.

On that note, I will end by saying, here’s to cultivating a ‘good opinion of yourself’.  Take care.

Spirit Soars Newsletter February 2011

Thursday, February 17th, 2011
There is no time like right now to achieve the changes you want.  To help in this endeavour, Spirit Soars has this exclusive first time offer for you: 

Receive a full money back guarantee if you do not see some *improvement in your life, either in a specific area or generally*, when you sign up for the 2 month package.  This package is worth $500. 

                                           DEADLINE:  Monday, February 21.

*The client’s assessment is based on their honest experience of the coaching service and  the integrity of the coach/client relationship.  If the client believes they did not receive any benefits from the coaching, they will receive their money back. Please contact Anita if you have any questions at

Sign up for our free newsletter and become a Spirit SoarsNews Club member.  Simply go to and complete the registration box.


February 6 to the 11 is INTERNATIONAL COACHING WEEK.  Join me on Wednesday, February 9 from 6pm to 8pm at the Buzz Coffee Shop(on Uplands Dr., behind Rutherford Mall).  Receive a complimentary 15 minute coaching session from myself or my colleagues. Why not bring a friend and experience coaching first-hand!


I will be doing 2 presentations for the City of Nanaimo in February plus a workshop for Parks, Recreation and Culture in the spring. Stay tuned for information on the latter.



 I would like to pass along my sincerest thanks to everyone for making the

past year such a success for Spirit Soars Coaching & Consulting. 

I look forward in continuing to share in your successes for 2011!

                            Anita Mann             


 Now here is the latest article which I hope will encourage you to begin working towards your goals.  It is an article I first published last year at this time and believe it’s worthy of a repeat appearance: 

                                                                “Goal Setting and Resiliency”

 As we are well into the New Year, many of you have probably set resolutions.  I prefer to call them goals because ‘New Year’s Resolution’ has become a cliche in some ways, thus losing its power to cultivate change. 

 Now, does this sound familiar?  You are excited because you’ve found your ‘resolution’ and are itching to begin.  Let’s use a common example of getting into shape.  You’ve registered at your local gym and are ready to start.  Adrenaline is running high, friends are inspired by you, and you make it to every workout. 

After a month or so, results seem slow in coming (your perception), your new work-out outfit has been through the wash so many times its lost its luster, and no one is commenting on your new endeavor.  It’s become old news. 

Chin up, you say to yourself.  I can do this.  You continue to make it to work-outs, but more pressing things ’suddenly’ occur in your life. You accept overtime at work because, well, who turns down money?  And, it looks good to your superiors.  In a competitive market, this is a must you tell yourself.  Other events occur like a sick child or your partner complaining that your spending too much time away from home. 

Gradually, you miss more exercise classes but rationalize it as simply a part of life that one must be flexible about.  After all, you have many responsibilities and your results at the gym weren’t exactly what you had expected anyways. You tell yourself you’ll get back on track once ‘things settle down’.  That time never comes.  I won’t continue with this story because I think you know where things are heading – you quit the gym and chalk it up to an inevitable failure.

Well, you’re not alone.  Most resolutions fail within the first month.  Here’s where I step in.  I think some information and a little insight is sorely needed.  You need to be aware of the process of skill acquirement.  Whenever learning a new skill or behavior these are the steps you go through.

    Being 1) Unconsciously Incompetent  2) Consciously Incompetent  3) Consciously Competent and  4)Unconsciously Competent.  Let me define each. 

1) Unconsciously Incompetent:  In the beginning, you are not aware that you don’t have a particular skill.  Using the above example, this means you lack the awareness that you are out of shape and that it is negatively impacting you. 

2)  Consciously Incompetent:  Then, say you watch a hard-hitting television program on health and learn just how important it is for you to make changes to improve your health now.  You are ready for the first time to accept you are out of shape and must do something about it.  You’re just not sure what to do or how to start.

3)  Consciously Competent:  So, you do some research or ask physically active friends what they are doing for themselves in this area.  Say you join a gym and participate in classes. You keep practicing this new routine, but boy is it hard work! 

NOW THIS IS WHERE MOST PEOPLE GIVE UP.  They think the results aren’t coming fast enough. They skipped classes one week because other ‘priorities’ came up and feel all is lost.  They take on extra work at the office and did not have the ‘time’ to exercise. In essence, they think have failed because they did not perform perfectly. 


This is a golden opportunity to call in all your internal resources (ie. saying positive affirmations to yourself) and external resources (ie. working with a Life Coach). You learn to manage your way through the rough spots and come out the other side a winner.  Now you have a precedent for overcoming future obstacles and your confidence sky-rockets!              

4)  Unconsciously Competent:  It realistically takes people 3 months to become proficient at a new skill, routine or habit. You have become proficient.  Exercising is now second nature to you. You have succeeded.

In closing, knowing beforehand that getting off-track is a good thing, results in not being paralyzed by it.  You CAN get back on track.  Resiliency is the key. To dramatically increase your chances of success, you need support.  Do not work in isolation.  Research shows that one of the best ways is working with a Life Coach.

For assistance to negotiate YOUR journey toward goal achievement and to take advantage of my exclusive first time offer of a money back guarantee, please contact me and we’ll discuss a plan that works for YOU. 


 Anita Mann





**If you would like to be removed from my email list, please type ‘remove’ in the subject line and forward the email to Thank you.


A Day In the Life – Chocolate and Gratitude Party

Saturday, October 30th, 2010

A Day in the Life is a specialized piece of writing based on my everyday experiences.  I want to share with you a brainstorm I had and the resulting outcome.

You always hear about how you should tell the people in your life how much they mean to you before it’s too late.  Well, I was one of those people who thought, sure one day I’ll do this when the time is right.  Well, years went by and I had not followed through, until one particular day.

I had been seriously asking myself what was holding me back?  Honestly, I couldn’t come up with a reason other than fear or embarrassment of exposing my true feelings.  But, on this day, I also came to the conclusion that this was a feeble excuse and it was time to act.

Don't put it off any longer

Don’t put it off any longer

Once I made the decision, a wave of excitement and empowerment washed over me. Yeah, I knew it was time.  What I decided to do was make things simple.  First, I invited my closest friends who had been there for me during a difficult transition in my life.  Second, as I love chocolate, my request to them was a bring a small chocolate dessert to share.  Third, as I don’t enjoy cooking, I decided to order pizza.  Everyone agreed to pitch in $10.  Fourth, the only other thing I shared with my friends was that I was calling my ‘get together’ a ‘Chocolate and Gratitude Party’.  I let them know they did not have to worry about the gratitude part; that I would take care of that.  Needless to say, curiousity was piqued due to this unusual invitation.When my friends showed up and the small talk was over, I told them exactly what I had shared at the beginning of this article:  that I kept putting off sharing my truth with those near and dear to me and how that was about to change.  So, one by one, I shared what each person meant to me and how they had impacted my life in a profound way.

I had written about a page for each person and read out loud, my heart-felt words.  I talked about how I met each of them, gave examples of the trials and tribulations and joys we had gone through together.  I specifically gave examples of exactly how each person had helped me when I most needed it and how they did it with great timing and a loving heart.  I talked about how individually each friend had extended herself in such a generous manner without expecting anything in turn.  Unconditional love and friendship…now that’s the ticket.

Suffice to say, tears were running freely amongst all.  Hearts were touched, appreciation expressed, and a bounty of hugs given.   Even those who did not know each other, shared genuine hugs.  I declare to the world, “Love is contagious, even among strangers”.  After all, how can I deny what I witnessed first-hand?

After my intimate disclosures came to a conclusion, it was time to indulge in chocolate heaven…and boy did we!  Is there such a thing as a chocolate high?  Yes, I believe there is (in my esteemed opinion).  And, to top it off with pizza, well what could be better?  Dessert before the meal is truly an under-utilized (and under- appreciated) epicurial delight.

To conclude, I share this most personal of experiences to inspire you to tell your loved ones just what they mean to you… chocolate and pizza being completely optional.  Don’t over-think.  Simplicity is key.  For me friends, chocolate and pizza… well you just can’t get any better and simpler than that!  Just do what makes sense for YOU.  Truly, a few touching words, is all that is required.  I can almost guarantee it will be a life-changing experience for all concerned.

Please, go forth in gratitude and brighten the day of your dear ones.  And know, as Mahatma Ghandi said, “The fragrance always remains in the hand that gives the rose”.

I would be delighted if you could share your thoughts with our Spirit Soars Blog community and lose yourself in the sweet aroma of your rose.

A Little Perspective Goes A Long Way

Thursday, July 22nd, 2010

Hello my Spirit Soars blog followers.  Good to have you back.  To newcomers, welcome.  I thought it was time to share some words of wisdom to help you gain perspective, particularly if you are going through a rough patch.


You will receive a body.  You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period this time around.

You will learn lessons.  You are enrolled in a full-time, informal school called LIFE.  Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons.  You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant and stupid.

There are no mistakes, only lessons.  Growth is s a process of trial and error and experimentation.  The failed experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately “works”.

A lesson is repeated until it is learned.  A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it.  Then you can go on to the next lesson.

Learning lessons does not end.  There is no part of life that does not contain its lessons.  If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.

‘There’ is no better than ‘here’.  When your ‘there’ has become a ‘here’ you will simply obtain another ‘there’ that again, looks better than ‘here’.  (Two ways of interpreting this is that the grass is not greener on the other side.  And, live in the present moment… life doesn’t get any better than this).


Others are merely mirrors of you.  You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.

Take time to reflect on your life.

Take time to reflect on your life.

What you make of your life is up to you.  You have all the tools and resources you need;  what you do with them is up to you.  The choice is yours.

The answers lie inside of you.  The answers to life’s questions lie inside you.  All you need to do is look, listen and trust.- Author Unknown –

You are welcome to share your thoughts, comments and questions with your fellow Spirit Soars bloggers.

Show Fear Who’s The Boss

Tuesday, June 15th, 2010

Do you know the #1 reason people do not work with a Life Coach?  Whether you are from Silicon Valley, Portland, Oregon, Seattle, or Vancouver, BC, the answer remains the same.



Fear of change, fear of failure, fear of too much work, fear of success, fear of wasting time and money, and fear of the unknown.  If you relate to any this, my hope is that the following first-hand accounts put your fears to rest.

Life is all about change.  There is no avoiding it.  Does it not make sense to learn how to use change to your advantage rather than having it call the shots?   This was my first experience with life coaching and it was incredibly positive…Lynne Simpson, Remax

There is no failure; only valuable lessons you need to learn along the way to help you get to where you want to go.  You need these lessons.  [Anita] … made me focus on the positive angle of a condition rather than the negative, thus helping me stay focused on the ultimate goal.’  Venika P. Marketing Manager Seattle, Washington                                                                                                 

If you change nothing, nothing will change

If you change nothing, nothing will change

When you begin to see the results of your efforts through coaching, it no longer seems like work.  In fact, you are energized to do even more.  ‘I found Anita’s approach to life coaching to be both inspiring and invigorating’  Fred Ayotte, Executive Leader.

Success means change, even if it is good change.  And, change is scary for many people.  But once you get used to it, boy does it feel good.  You are worthy of success.  No matter how hard you try, you can not hide your worthiness.  So, why waste your energy fighting the inevitable?  ‘It was a good reminder to take care of one’s self and an even bigger reminder that the little things you can do for yourself ie: gremlins, are easy things to control.’   Jessica Poustie, former employee, Ministry of Forests and Range, Nanaimo, BC

 Your time is precious.  You work hard for your money.  You will only invest in a sure thing.  But, the benefits of Life Coaching appear nebulous to you.  Therefore it becomes harder to assess the merits of Coaching.  But soon after starting your sessions and measuring your progress, the hard facts become indisputable.  You are making gains.  What is a more solid investment than achieving your goals and feeling better?  The payout is ten-fold.  Your time and money have been well spent.  The coaching process and Anita’s support enabled me to take courage to fill myself with inspiration and to identify and let go of harmful emotional habits that were holding me back and live more freely.’  Rhonda Smith, Taylor, BC 

All anyone really knows is this moment.  Five minutes from now is unknown.  Five seconds from now is unknown.  We live with unknowing all the time.  So how does one become more comfortable with beginning something new?  Get informed.  Ask questions.  Do your research.  If you were buying a car, wouldn’t you do just that?  You might look at magazines that rate cars, surf the web for the latest costs, compare the features between cars, visit dealerships, talk to friends, etc.  ‘I definitely would suggest to anyone if they have the opportunity to take some time and see what Anita has to offer. Corrina Werner, Ministry of Forests and Range 

Do the same with Life Coaching.  A well-informed decision is a lasting decision.  One way I want to help you with this, is offering a free no obligation twenty minute phone/skype consultation.  I think nothing replaces the direct contact between you and the person you are considering hiring.  So, let’s talk and please ask away!   ‘At first I was skeptical.  But I knew there were things in my life that just weren’t working.  I thought what do I have to lose from a free consultation?…Anita blew me away.’  A THANK-YOU just isn’t enough.’  LB, British Columbia.

Here’s to overcoming your fear,

Anita Mann

Skype Me™!

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Looking for balance? Changing careers? Anita Parmar, a Life and Personal Development Coach, provides in person, online or phone coaching to clients from Surrey, Vancouver, Burnaby, Richmond, New Westminster, Langley and Port Coquitlam.